That title is filled with expectations, pressure, false beliefs, and ideals. Everyone has an opinion about working mothers, and if you’re a working mother, it would be nice to argue that your perspective is the only one that matters. Life, however, is not that simple. Hence, as a working mother, I offer the following (somewhat unconventional) manageable approach on how to balancing life and work in our life.
1. Have an Answer for “Why”
No, a response for yourself, not to anyone else who inquires as to why you are employed. You can be working for the money, the health advantages, your career passion, or any combination of these. The ability to declare, “I’m working because…” to oneself is crucial. The “why” that matters to you will help you keep things in perspective if you are aware of why you are working. Perhaps you work because you genuinely enjoy your career and would continue to do so even if you were independently wealthy. Sometimes, the additional health benefits are necessary to pay for a family member’s medical expenses.
Knowing your “why” helps you prioritize more effectively. [1] It is simpler to respond to inquiries about working more hours, responding to emails when away from the office, or any other work-related concerns when you are aware of your motivations. At the same time, making parenting decisions will be easier if you know why you work. You can explain to your kids why you work if it’s right for you. Your partner and you can share reminders of your “why” and how to tie it in with the family’s priorities if you have one.
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2. Clarify What “Mom” Means to You
Almost all of us have mothers who raised us. We took advice from her, formed decisions about what a mother should or shouldn’t do, and internalized a lot of motherhood-related concepts.If we didn’t have a mother, we closely observed other mothers in an effort to understand what it would be like to do so. But throughout the last few decades, as well as the last few years, a lot has changed in terms of life and parenting. Moms today don’t really have access to things that were excellent in the 1970s or 1980s. There is no one perfect way to be a mom, despite what social media may lead you to believe. You stand out among others. You might also be a unique kind of mother.
With their children, some mothers adore playing up. Some people like to play catch. Some mothers enjoy preparing dinner every night from scratch. Some are aware of the best places to order delivery. Some mothers require a nanny. Others desire to spend every moment possible with their kids. No approach is ideal or necessary. Strive hard to determine exactly what is best for you as a mom, and firmly reject any “should” that isn’t. This holds true for working mothers as well. Decide what is best for you, and politely decline any pressure, ideal, or expectation that is completely inappropriate for you.
3. Invest in Good Help
Let’s begin with assistance at work. Are you performing tasks that someone else could perform? Will educating others help you relieve some pressure? This tip’s “invest” portion has nothing to do with money. It involves investing time and energy on delegating the tasks that must be completed to others. Although teaching others can be challenging, the end result is less work overall. How about in your home? All working mothers have access to prospective assistance from their kids and, maybe, from their partners. It’s true that you’ll probably need to put some time and effort into teaching them how to do things, and they probably won’t do them as well as you. However, they can all become helpful.
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This is a fantastic method to achieve some balance in the end. It might necessitate a change of perspective, but it’s worthwhile. It’s not necessary to complete everything, nor does everything have to be done flawlessly. This is a fantastic setting for some original thought. You likely perform a lot of mental tasks in addition to the usual work and parenting duties, such as organizing social events, scheduling maintenance, planning trips, and checking expenditures and budgeting. Is there someone else who could pick up some of those skills?
4. Look for the Energy Traps
Working mothers frequently experience fatigue. That almost always occurs. We’re all worn out. On certain days, the only way we can stay awake till bedtime is by gritting our teeth and using the last of our energy. What is consuming your energy unnecessarily, then? Your partner, kids, and/or boss are probably honest candidates. All of those are true.
Consider the issues that most bring you down. Do you have any options for altering them? The worst time of the day can be the argument before bed. Can you alter any elements to make it simpler?
The majority of what we do is optional, including donning pajamas, reading a book, and sleeping in a bed. These are not required. If your youngster struggles to brush their teeth before bed, have them do so after dinner. If they object to wearing pajamas, try to find a solution that you can live with. The same is true with morning rituals. Ask whether there is anything you can do differently if you recognize that you are caught in the same energy trap. Outside of your personal circle, there can be certain individuals that act as energy traps. Does someone spring to mind right away? Someone who drains your energy or surrounds you with unfavorable vibes whenever you’re with them?
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5. Become Your Own Caregiver
For many women, this is the toughest thing to do. There is truth in the idea that our duty is to look out for others, but we often entrust the task of looking out for ourselves to an unknowable force outside of our control. Which do you require?You are aware of the specific requirements that each of your kids has, including up to 14 hours of sleep (including naps)[3], avoiding particular settings, cuddling, a nightlight, etc. Can you respond to that inquiry for yourself? It is up to you to obtain what you require once it has been determined. You can obtain everything you need with the assistance of a helpful partner, a considerate boss, considerate children, and decent coworkers. Yet you have the power to obtain it.
So, please, please, do so, whether you can express your requirements to the people in your life and have their support or whether you need to carve out the time and resources to do so. You won’t have that employment in the future. Your kids will (likely) be adults leading independent lives by then. You might or might not be dating. You are the only constant in your future. Begin caring for yourself. Today. You don’t need to be perfect to succeed at this, just like you don’t need to be perfect at any other point in this article. (In reality, we want to jump off a cliff with precision.) Try demanding 30 minutes of alone time, refusing to respond to emails on the weekend, or enrolling in that appealing workout class. If it benefits you, keep doing it. If it’s terrible, try something else that might be more effective.
6. Balance Life With Both Feet on the Ground
When you hear the word “balance,” what comes to mind? It could be time for a rethink if it requires wobbling while standing on one foot or maintaining a teeter-totter exactly level. As you stand with both feet on the ground, visualize balance. Your body feels solid but also at ease. While keeping your eyes forward, you take in your surroundings.
Your corners of your mouth are slightly raised, as if a chuckle is just waiting to be heard. You’ve got relaxed hands.
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This does not imply that this is how your actual life is. You visualize it in your mind while you strive for equilibrium. When a toddler is climbing you, balance isn’t about what’s going on above or around you. Balancing is all about you. The ideal balance for you as a working mom is something only you can determine. It could be very similar to someone else’s or entirely distinct. It’s right if it works for you, so do it.
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