Most people are aware of how to be good friends by being understanding, kind, and helpful. Also, through being able to listen effectively and knowing when to be silent and when to speak out. A good friend is one who knows when to be the voice of reason and when to be the loudest supporter. They are aware of when to take action and when to show their support in silence. You have undoubtedly been a wonderful buddy on numerous times. You have spared your friend from suffering. You supported them during their difficult times. They now have the confidence to follow their abilities thanks to you.
So how can you become your best friend? As many different methods as there are people. We all have distinct needs, and there are many different ways to address those needs. So, everyone of us requires unique variations of care and support in our friendships. Because of this, the first of these eight suggestions for best friends reads as follows:
1. Get to know yourself
What do you do first when you are about to become friends with someone? Naturally, you come to know them.
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Even if we all think we understand ourselves completely, there are always details that are hidden from our awareness. Our life can be controlled by these hidden aspects of ourselves. Psychoanalysts Newman and Berkowitz contend that in order to truly understand ourselves, we must read How to Be Your Own Best Friend. It entails being aware of both the depth of our capacities as well as the most nuanced truths about ourselves. By doing this, we can learn to support ourselves as we would assist others. So, set aside some time to do some soul-searching. Examine yourself in a journal. So who are you? Where do you hurt? What inspires you? Learn about yourself.
2. Respond to your needs
Quality friendships are what make you happy, according to a study on happiness. You’ve probably heard (or, ideally, experienced) the saying that having wonderful friends contributes to happiness and fulfillment in life. The cause? Your needs are met by good pals. They are there to support you physically, emotionally, and financially.
Thus, if you’re unsure of how to be your best buddy, consider what you require. Do you crave affectionate support? Do you need some motivation? Or do you require the uncomfortable but necessary truth? Do you require some sleep? What specifically do you need? How can you presently address those needs? As your best friend would, lend a hand to yourself.
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3. Understand that being your own best friend is not selfish
When we are overly generous to ourselves, we may feel self-centered and selfish. People in my (collectivistic) society run the risk of being viewed as selfish when they begin to take care of personal needs. Being your own best friend is profoundly hampered by such a notion.
“If you’re unsure of how to be your best friend, consider your needs. Do you crave affectionate support? Do you need some motivation? Or is the stern but necessary truth what you need to hear?
4. Speak to yourself as you would to your best friend
What do you tell your loved ones if you see them physically abusing themselves? Most likely, something along the lines of “Please be kind to yourself,” “You’ve got this,” “You are a lovely and competent person,” “I love you no matter what,” and “It’s going to be all right.” And what do you tell yourself when you falter or run into trouble? Most likely, the way you talk to yourself is different from the way you speak to your friends. Self-kindness, in contrast to compassion, frequently feels forced.
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Be your closest companion. Watch your inner dialogue and correct it. Make a vow to yourself that you won’t say anything you wouldn’t say to your best friend. Just as you would for someone you love, support yourself.
5. Engage in self-care
Similar to the last point, you broaden the definition of self-care here to include all types of self-kindness. How are your sleeping and eating going? Are you exercising enough? Are you understaffed? How do you tend to your emotional requirements? Are you confident? Do you surround yourself with poisonous people? How do you plan to handle them? Are you a meditator? Are you engaging in your interests? Do you have enough of the things that bring you joy?
You would speak up if you observed your friend acting carelessly at the expense of their physical and emotional wellbeing, wouldn’t you? You would nudge them into altering their routines and getting rid of the burdens on their lives. As a result, you ought to do the same for yourself.
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6. Write a strengths CV
When someone is unable to recognize their own talents, a good friend will point them out. Writing a unique CV that highlights your strengths and talents may be a good idea as you learn how to be your best friend. Be not humble. Show off your strengths and accomplishments with pride. Finally, hang it up so you can see it frequently. Go to this list of your many talents whenever you feel like you need some inspiration.
Lastly, you must learn to forgive yourself if you want to be your best friend, says psychologist Carissa Karner. Accept responsibility for previous errors. Detach yourself from your inner critic as well. Release it. Concentrate on the things you can get right this time.
7. Do an act of kindness to yourself
This one is enjoyable. Do you enjoy surprising your friends with thoughtful gestures and acts of kindness? When I surprised one of my friends with a modest gift, gave them tickets to a concert they like, or took them out to a lovely meal, I always delighted to see the look of pure delight in their eyes.
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“You commit to honesty when you decide to be your best friend. You’ll have to refer to them by their proper names. That may not always be enjoyable. The same should be done for you. Embrace yourself. Take a hot bath while holding a good book and some candles. Just because, treat yourself to something you’ve been wanting. Gratify yourself!
8. Be honest with yourself
And finally, having friends does not necessarily entail being a cheerleader. You wouldn’t try to hide the fact that your friend’s life is in disarray by wearing rose-colored glasses, would you? Being honest is what you commit to when you decide to be your best friend. You’ll have to refer to them by their proper names. It won’t always be enjoyable. It is still morally correct to do so. But keep in mind that a best friend is not a bully. Being sincere does not equate to being cruel. You need a balance of honesty, kindness, and compassion.
For instance, an honest friend would not go about blaming the professor or the employer if you failed a test or botched the important presentation at work. They would advise you to prepare for it by obtaining a decent night’s sleep rather than staying up all night partying. Even yet, a true friend would not refer to you as a deadbeat (or any of the names you might be inclined to call yourself in such situations). Hence, strike a balance and offer yourself both supportive critique and encouragement. Be the type of buddy who helps you get back up after falling and navigate your path to development.
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